God's Country?

A man decided to write a book about Churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Massachusetts. Upon entering a church in Boston...Behold - there it was -the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: $0.35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only $0.35 cents a call. Why?"

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied: "Son, you're in Boston, Massachusetts now, home of the Red Sox, the Patriots, Celtics, Bruins and Boston College! You're in God's Country, It's a local call."

Good-Bye, Gagne...

Breaking news: Early Christmas gift for Red Sox fans everywhere. Eric Gagne will be in a Milwaukee Brewer's uniform for the 2008 season.

Actually, it was surprising to me that Theo offered Eric a place on the Red Sox next year. Yup, it's true. And, Eric turned it down. (phew.) Boston just ain't his town....he knows it, I know it, you know it. Apparantly, management - they didn't know it. Hey Theo - you know how when we're all at Fenway and Kevin Youkilis or J.D. Drew come up to the plate....and everyone yells: "Yooooooook" or "Drooooooo"? Well, when Gagne takes the mound at Fenway, and you hear that "ooooooo" sound from the crowd, keep in mind that Eric's name doesn't phonetically contain ANY sound like that....That was a BOOOO, with a capital B - and when you get boo'ed in your own home town - that ain't good.

So, Theo. Gagne's gone and you still owe me. When you think Ellsbury for Santana, think Howie Mandell and say: No Deal. The Twinkies didn't take the deal offered in Nashville, take Jacoby off the table...."You snooze, you lose" applies here. I have to be honest - I'd be thrilled to have Johan Santana in a Red Sox uniform. Lefty, 2-time Cy Young award winner in the prime of his career - with Beckett in slot one, Santana in slot two...backed up by Dice-K, Schilling and Lester - we'd be so deep in pitching, we'd be unstoppable. On the other hand - you just can't tell us that the future of the Red Sox is the farm team system - and have us believe it - embrace and appreciate the young rookies who make their way to Fenway - only to trade them all away.

That's my 2 cents. That and: 9.5 weeks to Spring Training!

Good-bye, Gagne and Godspeed...
Ann, the Red Sox fan